Today's post will not be a funny one. Sorry guys, but I have spent a great deal of energy on feeling the things that I have seen. I think that it is important to understand the culture in which you choose to immerse yourself. I have done my best and a great deal of time has gone into visiting cathedrals and basilicas. It is not just the stained glass, nor is it the concept behind these incredible works of art. It is the execution of design and the honest consideration that went into these buildings. I have been moved. I have been changed. I am a different person because of these works. I am a different person because of their purpose. I have found that my purpose in Paris is to see these fine examples of God's work here on Earth

I keep it no secret that I am a Christian. I love my God, my Savior and my religion. I understand those that do not. I understand that there are a great many questions that God refuses to answer. I understand why human beings, despite their upbringing, willingly choose to forsake a diety that opts for the inane, the inexplicable, the awful. We are wrought with a desire to consider our surrondings, our lives, our paths... our purpose. We are human, and by default, we wonder.

I no longer wonder. Paris has explained the inexplicable. I might have found the answers at home, but I found them here instead. And for that, I am grateful.

Wonder, I think, is what brought me to Paris. Wonder is why I exist. It must be. I am a person alert to the unbearable. I am a person familiar with the idea of wrought emotion. I will be honest, I wish for nothing more than the desolation that sociopaths enjoy. If I could be, I would be inconsiderate. But I have felt an overwhelming inclination to light a candle at each cathedral I visit. This candle is lit for my brother's soul.

Do I believe in Heaven? Do I believe in Hell? I do not know. I believe in Mercy, in Justice, in Peace and in Love. I believe in God. I even believe in a God that stole away my brother and with him, my very core, my very soul. I did not know it at the time of his departure, but I believed in Safety. And now, I believe that is where, if I looked, if I was brave enough to look, I would find my brother. In Safety. In Peace. And in Love. And in Justice. I believe, after today, that it is my brother who is guiding me through Paris. I believe that he has and he will be with me because I know that I took this trip for him, with him and because of him. He is with me and he always will be. It was he that broke me and it will be him that heals me.

I Love You, Cody. And I miss you. Thank you for your guidance and your typical infalibility. You are my map and my compass.